


i´m not gonna wait until you´re done pretending you don´t need anyone

by clurphysangel



Category: The 100
Genre: F/M, Parties, drunk, fight, make out, wasted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 10:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14616867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clurphysangel/pseuds/clurphysangel
Summary: Bellamy and Clarke being Bellamy and Clarke but in a modern setting.





	i´m not gonna wait until you´re done pretending you don´t need anyone

**Author's Note:**

> Title: "Naked" by James Arthur

I lied to Raven. I have experienced moments of blissful happiness. The problem is that the fall off the cliff of joy hurts like a bitch.

I shake myself to get rid of dangerous thoughts about Bellamy and look around the room again. This time when I spot Murphy, he’s leaning against a pillar on the porch and it’s not Emori between his legs. It’s Ontari, dressed in an ethereal white gown, looking gorgeous but sad, like the abandoned princess she is.

Murphy, you dumb shit.

But I’m as dumb as he is, looking for some guy to put my arms around to make me feel better. Well, I already have someone who cares about me and I care about him, too, and I’m not going to let him make another mistake tonight.

“Hey, Murphy,” I say as I approach.

He rolls his head lazily toward me, his eyes are completely unfocused. Shit. I have no clue what he’s on and i can´t just drag him off, since the boy is probably nearly a foot taller than me and a hundred pounds heavier.

So I improvise. “You´re Dad just called. He wants us to come home."

“Not interested.” His hand slides up Ontari’s side.

Her mouth is set in a mulish line, daring me to call her out on this.

And I do, because both of them will regret this tomorrow. “Come on,” I urge Murphy. “I don´t want your dad to get angry. Let´s go."

He leans forward and kisses Ontari’s shoulder. He’s done listening to me, if he ever started.

I try Ontari instead. “This isn’t going to make you feel better. They may be best friends, but they aren’t the same person.”

Her defiant expression wavers for a moment, until Murphy drawls in a voice loud enough to carry, “What, you’re the only girl we can pass around?”

A few giggles and a gasp put a smile on his mouth. He’s hit his mark, just as he intended. Maybe he’s not so high, after all. He knows exactly what he’s doing and apparently Ontari does, too.

It was one night. Last winter, when my parents left for New York and i got the run of our place. We both felt alone, he´d just got cheated on by his girlfriend and Bellamy had dumped me the night before, we drank a little too much and one thing led to another.We never talked about it. Maybe we should have.

“Fine, screw up your lives. Both of you.”

My hurt expression must penetrate whatever drug-fog he’s in, because his face pales with regret. “Clarke—”

I push past a couple of gawking students and run smack into Bellamy.

"What happened? see a ghost? " he asks smirking.

“Remember when you told me you’d do anything for me? ” I say ,completely ignoring his questions.

“Yep. I still would, " he answers gruffly.

“Yeah? Then prove it.”

“Leave you alone?” he guesses, a resigned look in his eyes.

“Yep. Don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me, or I swear to God I’ll find the first guy I can and screw him right in front of you.”

Something in my face or my voice must convey my seriousness because bellamy gives me an abrupt nod. “Fine, for tonight then.”

“Whatever,” I mutter, and then I stalk away, heading outside.

It’s too much. All of it. This town. These fucking kids. This whole ridiculous life that’s supposed to be so much better than the one I had before. I tip my head back and release the scream of frustration that’s been building since I rode that stupid bus back into Arkadia.

“Clarke!” Running footsteps pound on the pavement. “What’s wrong? Did something happened? What—” Bellamy stumbles to a halt when he realizes I´m on the edge of despair.

“Why are you following me?” I demand, again, ignoring everything he just asked. He’s the last person I want to see right now with all that happened tonight. 

“I’ve been yelling your name for the last five minutes, but you were so lost in your head that you didn’t hear me.” He grabs my shoulders. “Are you hurt?”

His hands run down my arms and then onto my hips. He turns me and I let him because I’m so hungry for someone to care about me that even this feels lovely. And I hate myself for it.

I jerk away and stumble against the car door. Forgot what we just talked about? Don’t touch me. I’m fine. I screamed-, " I begin, trying to find an answer. Knowing Bellamy, he would instantly head back inside and beat the living hell out of Murphy, if I told him what he just said to me, because then I had to explain why he did, and that would lead to me teling him that Murphy and I hooked up. There was no way I was going to risk this.

"It doesn´t matter, I am okay. I screamed for no reason." I lied.

I was not okay.

"Come on, I´ll get you home, " he says, grabbing my arm and softly pulling my toward his car.

"Last time we were in that car together, you broke up with me." I mumbled. "And I still don´t know the reason, isn´that funny?" I joke, trying to laugh off my pain.

In response, he takes my hand and looks into my eyes, as deeply as humanly possible. "Yeah, and I still don´t know why I did that."

“Who knows why you do anything?” I answer snidely. “I can’t even begin to guess what goes on in your sick mind.”

He looks like he’s struggling to keep his cool. Why he has any struggle, I have no clue. I’m the one dealing with a best friend gone wild and the whole town hating me for no reason, while he was cozying up with his ex-girlfriend.

“You sleep with Echo since we broke up?” The question slips out before I can stop it. 

I regret it a hundred times more when a ghost of a smile flits across his face. “No.”

Then what were you two whispering about back there, I scream silently. I force myself to turn away and focus on fixing the problem. I don’t need Bellamy, or anyone else for that matter. I’ve been taking care of myself for years.

 

"Echo was apologizing for bitching about Octavia. I told her not to worry about it.”

“You should worry about it."

He ignores my request. “I’ve got other things on my mind. Like wondering why my girl didn´t tell me that she slept with ym best friend."

“First of all, I am not your girl anymore, you screwed that up, second of all, that was five months ago, and third of all, there is nothing you could possibly hold against me since it was you who dumped me the night before." I argue,wondering where he got that information from. Maybe he overheard Murphy before.

"Yeah about that, I am really sorry, Clarke. I don´t know why I did that. Well, I do know, I just don´t understand it anymore, " he admits.

"You don´t understand anything."

"You may be right. I don´t understand why you won´t take me back." Snake quick, he wraps an arm around my waist.

His mouth slams against mine.

I grip his head to push him away, but instead I hold him there. We don’t kiss so much as try to kill each other with our lips and tongues. His hands dig into my arms. My fingers gouge his scalp. That steel in his jeans is no longer a memory but a reality, and my whole body rejoices. Oh my God, I’ve missed this. His lips on mine. His warm body pressed up against me. I missed it and I hate myself for it.

I wrench my mouth away from him. “Stop kissing me,” I order.

His lips curve upward. “Let go of me then.”

And when I don’t do it immediately, he kisses me again and his tongue slides through my parted lips. This time his hand is at the waistband of my leggings, yanking them down. I fumble for the bottom of his shirt, seeking his bare skin. Groaning, he hoists me up and my legs somehow close around his waist.

I feel the cool metal of a car hood under my bared butt. Bellamy’s fingers are squeezing my thighs and the tightness I felt before starts to ache. I thrash under his rough embrace, wanting something, searching for something, reaching for it. But it’s elusive.

His mouth leaves mine to find my neck and then my shoulder. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you´ve already taken me back."

Wait, what? There was no-,I would never-, Not after what he- 

“No. No, I haven´t, and I never will. You hurt me, mor than anyone had ever hurt me before. I opened up to you and you just screwed me over like every other girl you´ve ever been with.” I wiggle out from underneath his body, breathless and ashamed as I frantically tug my leggings up. 

He stands up slowly, not bothering to pull down his shirt or button the jeans that I’d apparently undone. “I know. And I told you I am sorry. I´m sorry for hurting you, for making you feel like you were just another one of my one night stands. But Clarke, I need you to know that you never were. Why won’t you believe me?”

His voice rings with so much sincerity that I almost believe him. Almost being the key word. My mind suddenly snaps back to all those moments we spend together, all the laughters we shared, all the times we fought and ended up the same way we did now, kissing. 

But even after every beautiful, happy moment we shared, I couldn´t believe him. Not after everything.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed reading this, leave kudos if so <3


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